Grave of the Fireflies

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 07:02:03 GMT

Hotaru...

Ate a lot today.. had a blueberry thing and some chocolate bread this morning (400?), coffee at clark (300?), half a salad and and icee for dinner (400?), misc breakfast bars and food (400) :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

AAAAHHHH I NEED TO STOP DOING THIS!!!!!

FAST FOR 48 HOURS STARTING 7PM THURSDAY!!!!!!

SERIOUSLY. RiGHT NOW I'M FUCKING 117.0 with just a tanktop and socks on!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I NEED TO BE UNDER 110!!!! PERMINENTLY!!!!!!!!!

Phase 1: Day 3

Sun, 19 Mar 2006 22:52:42 GMT

Ugh. so, my neighbor who i haven't seen in forever (he's in college) was outside when i was just about to start my warm-up run. so i wouldn't like a lazy bum, I ran instead of warming up to run. and i didn't stretch. Ugh. I did, however, run completely around the my block (small)- i haven't been able to do that before.

Jog 1 - about 3 minutes, relatively fast, walk 3 minutes
Jog 2 - yeah... 1:30. i was dying. walk 5 minutes
Jog 3 - 1:30, walk 2?
Jog 4 - 1:30, walk back to house (1:30?)

I don't even know. Total - about 20 minutes?

every time i ran the 1:30, i felt like i was getting a headache. i had this building-up nauseous feeling, and i don't know why. it would only happen until i stopped (i wasn't out of breath, i just felt like i was going to faint on the pavement if i didn't stop.), and it would build up a bit more and then disappear when i stopped jogging to walk.

Phase 1 - Day 3

Sat, 18 Mar 2006 21:12:20 GMT

Ate lunch at a spanish restaurante and felt really nauseous before i went out to run. after my first jog, i felt really nauseous. not a good feeling. so i only got two solid jogs in before i went home.

Warm up - 1m
Jog 1 - 3:30, walk 3m
Jog 2 - 2m, walk 3
Jog 3 - not really a jog, little less than 1m (at this point, my head felt really light, my eyes hurt, i felt like i was about to get a headache, and my legs were really red (it was only 30 degrees with a lot of wind, and i was wearing shorts)
Warm down - 1m
--------------------
Total time : 14:30

Overall - my first jog was good - i had a good breathing pattern going. today's the first day i ran while listening to music, and overall this was a good run. now my eyes are bulging though. probably too much blood pressure, because it feels slightly like i'm looking through too-strong glasses (that kind of bulgy sight). the past 2 days i wore black lougeish pants and a spring jacket. today i wore a thick sweatshirt and shorts. i like shorts better. i actually didn't feel too self-conscious! however, i forgot to stretch beforehand. oops.

Phase 1: Day 2

Fri, 17 Mar 2006 21:48:28 GMT

Warm up run - 1
Jog 1 - jog 3m, walk 3m
Jog 2 - jog 3m, walk 3m
Jog 3 - 1:40, walk 2:30
Jog 4 - 1, walk 2
-----------------
Total: around 20min

Phase 1 of "Let's not be fat"

Thu, 16 Mar 2006 22:30:27 GMT

Phase 1 - warm up walk - 1 min.
- jog - 2, walk 2 (repeat 7 times)
- warm down walk - 1 min.
-------------------------
total - 30 minutes.

Today - warm up walk - 1 min.
- jog 1 - successful
- jog 2 - successful
- jog 3 - jog 1:40, walk 2
- jog 4 - jog 2:00, walk 3
- jog 5 - jog 1:30, walk 2
- jog 6 - jog 1:30 to home, no warm down run!!
- should have warm down run, because after i sat down, i got really dizzy and nauseous!

Weather - cloudy day, pretty cold (like, 40 degrees F), very windy.

Mon, 02 Jan 2006 18:22:29 GMT

114.5

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 19:19:41 GMT

Thank GOD. man, i love metabosurge.

haha they should hire me to do their ads. except all the people watching would be like "ew i dont want to look like HER!"

oh well. i ate so much yesterday but lost .5 because i took 2 metabos right before dinner.

i ate sooo much today, and i'll do the same, and hopefully i won't gain anymore :(

Fri, 26 Aug 2005 23:25:44 GMT

Ahiru tagged me. :P

[ ] I am bisexual or homosexual.
[ ] I've consumed alcohol.
[x] I've run away from home. [many times - the longest was 3 days in the woods a few miles from my house]
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I don't like Bush because from what I hear, he is dumb.
[ ] I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
[ ] I am for Bush.
[x] I really don't care either way.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I collect comic books. [japanese comic books = manga]
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world. [many?]
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[ ] I own an iPod or MP3 player
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic [i have a tohru shirt from fruits basket..]
[x] I love Disney Movies.
[x] I am a sucker for hair/eyes. [...fluuufffff...] :P
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse randomly.
[ ] I paid for that cell phone ring.[i don't own a cell phone.. i don't like them.]
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I've slipped out an AIM word [lol, brb, etc.] in a real conversation.
[ ] I love Spam.
[x] I bake well.
[ ] I would wear pajamas to school.
[x] I own something from Abercrombie. [but hate it and never wear it. why did i spend $50??]
[x] I have a job. [many]
[ ] I love Martha Stewart.
[x] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I am self conscious.
[x] I like to laugh.
[ ] I smoke a pack a day.
[ ] I loved Perks of Being a Wallflower.
[ ] I loved Go Ask Alice.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I've been out of this country.
[ ] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I see a therapist.
[x] I love white chocolate.
[x] bite my nails.
[ ] I am comfortable with being me.
[x] I play video games.
[x] I'm single
[x] Gotten lost in my city.
[ ] Saw a shooting star
[x] Been to any other countries besides the united states
[ ] I Had a serious Surgery
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[ ] Kissed a Stranger
[ ] Hugged a stranger
[ ] Been in a fist fight
[ ] Been arrested
[ ] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[ ] Made out in an elevator
[x] Swore at your parents
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts
[x] Been close to love
[ ] Been to a casino
[ ] Been skydiving
[ ] Broken a bone
[x] Skipped school
[ ] Flashed someone
[ ] Saw a therapist
[ ] Done the splits
[ ] Played spin the bottle
[ ] Gotten stitches
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
[x] Bitten someone
[x] Been to Niagara Falls
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[ ] Crashed into a friend's car
[x] Been to Japan
[x] Ridden in a taxi
[x] Shoplifted
[ ] Been fired
[ ] Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
[xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back [ha.]
[x] Stole something from your job
[ ] Gone on a blind date
[x] Lied to a friend
[x] Had a crush on a teacher [mmmmm....]
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans
[ ] Been to Europe
[ ] Been married
[ ] Gotten divorced
[ ] Had children
[x] Saw someone dying
[ ] Been to Africa
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[x] Been to Canada
[x] Been to Mexico
[x] Been on a plane
[ ] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
[ ] Thrown up in a bar
[x] Eaten Sushi
[ ] Been snowboarding
[x] Been Skiing
[x] Met someone in person from the internet
[ ] Been to a moto cross show
[ ] Lost a child
[x] Gone to college
[ ] Graduated college [still in]
[ ] Done hard drugs
[x] Taken painkillers
[ ] Had someone cheat on you
[x] Miss someone right now
[ ] Eaten a stick of butter
[ ] Danced with someone in a wheelchair
[ ] Saved someone's life
[ ] Thrown a drink on someone [only by accident. lol.]
[ ] Swore out a cop
[ ] Robbed a gas station [...x this box and you're either a reaaally smooth criminal or dillusional]
[x] Been to Asia
[ ] Mutilated a Barbie doll

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 11:09:51 GMT

Finally. It was hard, but I'm back down to 115.0. If I do the same today, I'll be down to 114.3, most likely, and one from there. I WILL stop my binge.

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 03:14:15 GMT

HAAALLALUJA. i FINALLY broke my binge tradition. i managed to not eat anything other than another piece of 35-cal cheese and a big mug of diet coke. even though there was pita right below the coke in the fridge. *dances*.

too bad i'm still at a fricken 700 cals. better luck to me tomorrow! my legs are sore from walking. i'm a wuss.

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 23:32:43 GMT

i ate 3 pieces of cheese but no coffee and no dinner. that puts me at around 700 cals. i walked probably 2 miles at the mall and around there. and practiced 45 minutes of violin. so i burned off about 300 cals, i think, which puts me at 400. i think thats ok.

I FINALLY GOT A BRACELET. it has 2 red beads, two smaller silver beads, and so on, always separating each bead with a small disc-like silver thing. it was 2 bucks outside AC moore, but had hats all around it. i came home and pried the hats off, so now its just a really cute red beaded bracelet. it gives me inspiration to do better. i WILL be slim.

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 19:00:04 GMT

Orange - 150
Apple - 100
Cookie - 300
Icepop - 70
--------------
Total - 620. no dinner and mall walking = yay.

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 02:42:02 GMT

I went through all morning not eating, but haven't fasted in a while, so i got this HORRIBLE headache. and when i say horrible, i mean HORRIBLE. i was about to pass out from the pain. so i ate some strawberries as soon as i got home. which turned into me eating like 3 whole pitas with peanut butter and jelly.

I decided it wasn't too late to stop, so i stopped and told my parents that was my dinner. but when i got back from the awards ceremony, it was so hot that i had 4 scoops of icecream, some beans and tofu (my fav dish) and 2 70-cal icepops. so. binge.

tomorrow i'll bring strawberries and an orange to school. 5-8 at borders, some borders coffee. no food.

Start of the 5-day fast!

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 11:21:41 GMT

am 115.8. we'll see how this fast goes. i'm not bringing money to school and i better not try to borrow any from anyone. i'm staying afterschool and doing the eliptical machine for 200 cals or so.

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 15:20:19 GMT

Ugh. I'm 115.0 still. probably still good, but this morning I got up and from 9-11 watched all of my old concerts when i was really fat. it depressed me so much that i ate cashews and peach ring candies for 2 hours straight. 3 servings of cashews and about 30 peach rings is.. about 600. ew. little veggie at dinner and thats it. lots of violin today. 4 hours?

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 21:56:56 GMT

Sm. sf Borders Caramocha - 300
Sm. Strawberry smoothie - 200
Dinner - beans and whatnot - 400

2 hrs violin - -200
-------------------------
Sitting at 700 right now, plan on walking 2 miles (one at 8:00, one at 10)

New bach! Violin hour.5 tonight. starting 6:30

Right now i'll clean out the left drawer until 6:30 when i'll do violin.

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 11:22:02 GMT

I'm 115.0... we'll see how this one goes. My whole body is sore for some strange unknown reason... especially my back. But my hair looked especially good today, so that made me happy. My carnations are open now, and they're so pretty and smell sooo good. Have to find something to do around dinnertime tonight so I don't have to eat dinner.

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 02:06:24 GMT

i DONT UNDERSTAND!!! I've been eating a little over 1000 cals a day... not all that much for me, and I've just been gaining and gaining and gaining. I don't know what's going on!!

2 day severe restriction - no running, under 200 cals per day. I'm probably going to be 115.5 or 116.0 tomorrow morning, so lets see how effective this is. school ends on the 14th, so i have 12 days of no school to lose as much as i can.

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 22:15:15 GMT

PBJ - 300
Doritos - 90
Half brownie - 60
Strawberries - 200
Veggie rolls (5) - 400
--------------------
Total - 1050 not. again. damn. Clean room and organize bathroom tonight! And 1.5 hours violin!

6:30 Clean room
7:30 violin
9:00 physics formula sheet, etc.
9:30 organize bathroom
10:00 pack and sleep

Day 2

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 11:22:10 GMT

I got out of dinner yesterday, so all I had was the pbj and cookies. I'm 114.3. And I just realized (this is going to gross you out) that I haven't pooped in like 3 days. Which makes sense, because I've been gaining weight even though I"ve been eating about the same as I usually do. I don't want to take a laxie though, because I've never done it and am scared of what it might do to me.

No food today!

its burning...

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 19:52:51 GMT

holy shit i'm sweating just sitting here. i'm 115.0 again :( after fucking cheese binge last night.

so far -

PBJ - 300
3 small cookies - 300

Eliptical - -175
----------------
So far - 425

no dinner? it's been a while since i've played the "i'm too sick to eat" trick. i'll do that one. 6:00 i'll say i'm feeling better and practice 1.5 hour violin. 100 cals. i'm done eating for the day.

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 11:21:25 GMT

Yah. Too bad I'm a fucking 115.0 again. That's it. NO LUNCH OR BREAKFAST TODAY!! See if i can't get away with telling the parents i went to math explorers and got food there after makiing up a gym class... (which is of course impossible as the food always gets eaten within 15 minutes of the beginning of the club.). if i do a total fast tonight, i'll be 113 by tomorrow, and if i also fast tomorrow, i'll be 111 by Saturday, hopefully. I'm still tanning no matter what.

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 05:27:30 GMT

Chocolate pie - 400
PBJ - 300
Cheese, cookies, etc. - at least 800 cals.
Violin 4 hours - -300
Walk mile - -140
----------------
about 1150. not unrescuable, but i ate a fucking lot tonight. which is ok, because it was in celebration of my performance. yay! I LOVE YOU HOTARU!!!! sexy beast.

i'll probably be 114.0 tomorrow (my guess), so plan:

Thurs
5th - strawberries + math review
6th - just don't do it. + math review
7th - pretend all-nighter/no-eating and sleep on his shoulder.
make up gym class afterschool - 30 minutes on eliptical machine - who knows?
4:00 - relax or play 45 minutes of vio
5:00 - under 500 cals
6:00 walk 2 miles
8:00 shower and relax

Friday - if all goes well, 112.5?
FULL FAST~*~*
4th period - NO.
5th - gym - no.
6th - sweaty, exit through back - NO.
7th - pretend still no sleep - yay!
work afterschool until 5:00 - tell parents ate dinner
HOTARU

Saturday - be 111.5 at least
7:00 wake up
8:00 SATIIphys
11:00 orch rehearsal
2:00 orch concert thing
4:00 if nice out, suntan for an hour. if not, walk 2 miles.
5:00 any amount dinner
6:00 HOTARU
8:00 relax
11:30 SNL

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 03:19:29 GMT

Every 2 pounds I lose, I let myself read some of a new girly magazine. (Keep in that 10 pound rance for 2 days). Every 10 pounds i lose (divisible by 10), I get to lie out in the sun or bathtub and read lots of magazines while drinking yummy stuff. yay.

If i want to do that this Saturday, I have to be 110.something. We can do this, Alyssa. Only 2 more pounds and 3.5 more days.

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 01:29:00 GMT

This weekend is going to rock my socks. Brita icewater, lying in the sun, bikini, magazine. but where's my damn glamour? i had to go and buy it at target today.

Extra Polar Ice gum is the best.